Oh—you wouldn’t date a girl who’s ever been a stripper?
In that case, I wouldn’t date a guy who’s ever been to a strip club.
Oh—you wouldn’t date a girl who’s ever done porn?
In that case, I wouldn’t date a guy who’s ever watched porn.
You’re the reason we exist.
You’re the demand to our supply.
If you disdain sex workers, don’t you dare consume our labor.
As they say in the industry, “People jack off with the left hand and point with the right.”
— Lux ATL (via stripperina)
when hannibal gets caught and everyone realizes they’ve been eating humans i just want a montage of everyone’s face and fancy music playing in the back
(Source: titanoboa, via consulting-waiter)
SOLUTION TO USA/CANADA RIVALRY: CANADA BECOMES PART OF AMERICA AND WE TAKE DOWN EVERYONE AS ONE SUPER COUNTRY
THE US OF EH
but where do we send Bieber
Oh the universe out there is frightful
But starfleet is so delightful
And since there’s millions of aliens to know
boldly go, boldly go, boldly go.
#PICTURING BONES STANDING THERE ANGRY WITH A SANTA HAT ON THAT KIRK PUT ON HIM
ALSO KIRK RUNNING AROUND SINGING THAT IN HIS FRANK SINATRA VOICE WITH HIS HAIR BRUSH MICROPHONE
(Source: tlberius, via secretlymartinfreeman)
I LOVE JOKES THAT ARE SO TERRIBLE THEY BECOME FUNNY IRONICALLY I LITERALLY LAUGH SO HARD AT THOSE ITS EMBARASSING
Why couldn’t the man find his map
Because he lost his map
I show affection for my pets by holding them against me and whispering I love you repeatedly as they struggle to escape from my arms